I’m not sure this is really what I want to do tonight… or maybe it definitely is and I’m just already freaking out that I don’t know what exactly it is that I want to write… but that I am going to do it anyway. I have felt so busy lately! There is so much happening in a few realms of my life and maybe I just need time to sit and reflect.
I love journaling, man. Pen in hand and pen to paper makes my body resonate and tingle with right-ness. Just knowing that I can spit up through the ink to the paper any little thought that passes through my sweet mind, I’m just so damn grateful for it. I’ve always said that “paper is more patient than people.” I love listening to people and I conversing with them, I love asking them questions and really hearing them. They all have something for me in the smallest bits of dialogue and I sincerely try and cherish every encounter. I’ll be honest though, it’s rare that I find I get asked questions about my thoughts on life and I find myself craving an opportunity to talk at length about what I think about- it all. I simply won’t push something like that on anyone if they aren’t wanting or excited to hear me. I’m not about to pour myself out like that (unless it’s to my sister who lives with me and has no choice, or I get caught up in the excitement of the moment where I get to spout about a topic I’m passionate about).
Paper always wants to hear what’s on my mind. It grants me that freedom to feel heard, seen… understood. And you know what? Now, I too want to hear what’s on my mind. I want to see and experience and understand myself at those deep levels, I want to swim around in those pools in my mind. What I’m looking for out there: the chance to be heard by you… I want to direct that energy inward, making more time to allow myself expression of those deep thoughts. Through journaling, blogging, and maybe, in time, through maybe more wild types of artistic expression I can satiate that inner desire of feeling understood, of feeling like someone gets me. I start to learn about myself. I start to get myself. And you know, I start to get the universe too. As above, so below; as within, so without. By learning and getting deeper into myself, I learn about and get deeper into everything. All that is.
And still, I think about sharing it all with you. That’s why I chose the blog tonight as my avenue for creative expression. I think about you picking this up (as if this were a book or a letter to you) and hearing me like we were dear friends or lovers talking about anything and everything into the wee hours of the morning. Nothing is off limits and small talk is lightyears away. Like you want to hear me. Like I want to hear you. Like we have that connection. We do. Are you hear now reading this? Then this is for you.
Everything is for you.
We are one.
I love you.
Wisdom Spitball 