How annoying to just know you have to be single. Right now, it’s time to be single. And you just have to wait until you feel that special feeling and the time is right and the stars align… and you know it… and it’s still just such a bitch.
I’m single and it’s perfect and I’m right where I need to be as always but, damn. It’s annoying! Not always… but sometimes unconsciously during singledom, whether you actively make the choice to be so or not.. there are times when one starts to get pouty and annoyed and you feel a little anxious or restless and you just over check your phone over and over again and consider texting your ex and you just know that’s not the answer right now.. for sure that’s not the answer.. right? Right!
maybe..?
Patience. Do not text your ex right now, I swear to God. Deep breaths.
How annoying to know it’s actually not the most debilitating or life-crushing thing ever and there are so many other horrible, unfair, terrible things happening in the world and this, this is what bothers me. I feel so annoyed and so annoyed that I feel so annoyed. Remember, I’m actively opting for this. I want to be single. I don’t want anyone in my life that’s not like, destined to be there. And honestly, I’m not really looking anything that doesn’t feel like magic. I quite simply won’t settle. I know what it should feel like. I know that he will come to me when the time is right if we are meant to be together in this life. And life is magic in the mean time! I already have so much in front of me that I want to focus my attention on and I’m grateful for it… but seriously, how annoying it is that being single still often feels so goddamn annoying!?
I love being single! Please, let me vouch for this as I prefer singledom to any other lifestyle I’ve experienced thus far. I love it much so that I would be seriously surprised to see the universe even had someone else in store for me at all, because honestly, I just can’t see a man improving this situation. I love this life and I’m grateful for it. The men I’ve experienced up until now have not been able to work out for one reason or another… and it’s always felt quite unfortunate because I love them truly, but I just know I’m destined for more. Whatever it ends up looking like, there’s a feeling I’m waiting for. And I will be patient until that happens, and with supreme gratitude as often as possible.
But GOD if I don’t be checking this damn phone over and over all freaking day just waiting for it to light up or wishing it would with some prince charming on the other end who can actually hold a decent conversation on a such a consistent-ass basis! I sometimes drive myself crazy and I should seriously consider hiding my phone from myself before I do something crazy!
Is that all I want, though? Decent conversation? I mean, a little yes!! I mean yes, a good snog and fireworks yes, dear Jesus yes, who doesn’t want that… but like what happens when we talk? Can you make me feel fireworks like that in my mind? In my spirt? In my belly? Let’s get deep. What sparks you up? What are you passionate about? What makes you vibrate? I change my mind, I actually want excellent, out of this world conversation!
What do I really want from a man that I cant give myself? Am I wishing a man would come along as ask me these questions.. that wants to learn about what fires me up..?
I have passions that maybe I should be asking myself about…
Miley is drilling it into all our brains that we can buy ourselves flowers, hold our own hands
and talk to ourselves for hours…
And we should!
And it’s okay for me to sometimes feel lonely and want someone to snuggle with and connect with and talk to about the deep stuff that literally vibrates within my core… but I can’t wait around for some man to come along before I start talking about the shit I’m passionate about. I’ll have great conversation with my damn self! I need to start looking at it that way anyways, especially when I have mornings like this when I just keep checking my phone or my ex for answers that maybe were within me all along.
All my love.
Wisdom Spitball 